Chet and Jakey's Magical Pokémon Adventure
by Not Piteous
Summary: Jake and Chet decide to go on an adventure together, but really Chet just up and kidnapped him from DeviantArt's Porecomesis so that he would have some one to drag along with him. Let's see how long this lasts.
1. Chapter 1

Things have been pretty strange for me lately. Recently I took a life and some more lives, but people only seemed to care when I took the life of a named character. Talk about a double standard. Anyway, to kick back a little, I decided to go and play some Pokémon.

Achey Jakey is here with me, though I kind of had to kidnap him to get this far. The best part is that he's been aged down to fit the target demographic, and he's adorable!

"I'll get you back for this…." Said little ten-year-old Jakey, wide-eyed with youthful innocence. His seething glare hit me like a basket of baby kittens to the face. Aww…. "Don't stare at me like that you weirdo!"

Jakey was still too stubborn to wear the clothes I painstakingly stitched for him. Rather, he wore sized down versions of his usual hoodie and shorts. His socks do look longer on his skinnier shotaro boy legs. As a ten-year-old, his shoulders aren't nearly as broad as his eighteen-year-old self, and his face is a little more plump. He's still got that same frizzy black haircut on his top, but I can't get over how cute he looks.

"I can't get over how adorable you are, Jakey!" I went to tussle his hair, but he caught my wrist and made a face like he just ate some really gnarly sushi.

"Refrain from touching me…, please." Little Jakey is also a little more polite towards me than his older self.

I've been aged down for this story, too. I'm back to looking how I did in high school, and that's more than a little pleasant. I guess that makes me around fifteen or fourteen, but it's rather difficult to be exact with the art style here. I don't ever remember wearing red bandana's tied over my skull while I was in high school, but I guess it's cute. I'm carrying jake's bag on my back because he was barely in the mood to walk beside me, let alone carry his own items the whiney little…. ANYWHO, I've got my own items stored in a utility belt around my waist, and badge case is tucked away in one of the inner pockets of my vest.

Don't I just look fabu~ all dressed up like this? Say yes because it's the truth.

"You look better when I couldn't tell you had a face…. And you look weird with red hair, too." Even at ten, Jakey still loves nothing more than to take cheap shots at what brings me happiness. "So what's the purpose of this? Is there even a purpose to this?"

"Probably not, but why do we need one? We're Pokémon trainers, ostensibly." I'm not actually sure what we're even doing. I've got a party of two right now, so there has to be some training going on. "How many Pokémon do you have in your party, Jakey?"

"I've got two…." He blinked a couple times after looking at the Pokéballs on his belt. "And quit calling me Jakey!"

Cheah. Like hell I will. "Same as me, kiddo." Curious, I threw out my party to see just what kind of hand I was dealt. "Let's take the stage, Everyone!" I think that's what I'll go with. Yeah.

The two Pokéballs opened up and out popped my two partners, and boy was I lucky. I immediately took note of my highest leveled Pokémon, a Typhloshion. Lying on his yellow underbelly, sleepy-eyed and looking quite relaxed as the sun baked his green coat of fur. He was a mighty looking beast, standing up, he'd equal me in height. His narrow mug bore an amused grin as he eyed me with his one open eye. Sitting patiently next to him was a little long eared creature in brown fur, and a collar of lighter, fluffier fur around his neck.

"You have an Eevee?" Jakey spoke up, sounding less than satisfied with his own team, which consisted of a low level Totodile and Jigglypuff. "This isn't fair!" Aww, little Jakey is cute when he complains. Not like the old Jake….

"Well, it can't be help, boyo. I'm supposed to play the role of the wiser mentor to you." In other words, lil' Jakey has all kinds of bad luck in store. "I've got a little more experience than you, so it's only natural that my Pokémon are a little better."

"Experience? We just started!" He started to scowl and pout.

"You just started, I've been handling Pokémon for years at my parent's ranch." Yes, I am going into character now. Thanks for noticing. "I was on my way down from Blackthorn. I met you here at the intersection of Route 29 and 49."

Jakey took a brief look around. "We're…. Is that where we are?" He asked, looking tired.

"Yes. You just left Newbark Town not long ago. At ten-years-old, you started your journey and you've already caught your first Pokémon with Jigglypuff."

"So my starter is Totodile, and my first catch was a Jigglypuff?" His face soured into an uncute pout.

"Don't complain. At least you didn't have to start off with a damned Marill." I watched as Jakey opened his mouth to argue, then I watched as he paused to think, and then watched as he closed his mouth once he started to appreciate his party more. "Are you feeling a little more grateful?"

"I'm not going to complain, if that's what you're asking…." He affirmed, scowling and avoiding eye contact. "Can I go home now?"

"You'd rather go back to Thornton Farm and get bound and gagged by my Sister's vine pet than play Pokémon with me."

"Can't I have a third option where just cover myself in chum and dive into shark infested waters? That seems quicker and less painful by far…."

Ignoring his griping, I kneeled down along side my Pokémon. I placed my hand atop Eevee's head, and ran my fingers through his fur. "Gospel." I dubbed him. Looking back at Typhlosion, I decided to name him, too. "Apollo!" I'll be going with a music theme for my party, I guess.

"What are you blabbering about now?" Asked Jakey, who prodded the cheeks of his Jigglypuff.

"I'm naming my team. This will be a series, you know, so let's do things right."

"This is going to be a series? Exactly how long do you expect me to put up with you?"

"I don't expect you to put up with me, Jakey, but we're stuck together, so let's venture forth!"

My name is Chet. I'm a trainer from Blackthorn, here in the Johto Region. I grew up on my mom and dad's ranch for most of my life, and I've worked with Pokémon since practically the day I was born. Apollo was the first Pokémon I ever raised on my own. I took him in as an egg, and we've been like brothers since the beginning. Gospel just hatched not long after I beat Blackthorn's gym leader, Clair. I have more Pokémon back on the ranch, but when I decided to start my journey through the Pokémon league, I decided that I'd go at it right, and try and form a new team from the start.

"Are you narrating now? Quit staring off into space. It's creepy!" This is lil' Jakey.

From what he's told me, Jakey just moved into Littleroot Town from some other region west of here. He's a little hot headed, and he's got too much of a mouth on him, but I think we can get along. He's on the same journey as me, and he wants to make it to the Pokémon League.

"Why is my intro so much shorter than yours? Hey!"

"No time to talk, Jakey. We've got ground to cover! Woo!" This'll be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

"I like this a lot…. Do you mind if I steal this from you?" I asked, unable to take my eyes away from the image of little Jakey getting a face full of a Goldeen's flailing tail fin, now immortalized on rough paper, preserved for the generations to come. "It's absolutely adorable."

"Sure! I'm glad you like it!" Said the cute little hoodie girl, ripping out the page from her sketchbook I liked so much.

"You realize I dislike you both, right?" Little Jakey was too busy sulking to join in our admiration of his adorability, but that's alright. I will treasure this memory forever.

We'd just cleared through Violet City, Zephyr Badges for the both of us, so Jakey and I decided to go fishing. No. Actually, I decided that we would go fishing. Jakey refused because he's a little fussbudget, but he's here because it's easier to carry him now that he's all tiny. It started out much as you'd expect: He refused, I brought him along anyway, he joins in because he got bored, and his first catch jumped out of the water and smacked him in the face with the most effective flail attack in history. Jakey was the one that got hit, but the attack was super effective on me. I nearly fainted laughing.

It was then that we were approached by a little cherub of a child. Anne, Annie, Anna…? Whatever her name is, I'll just call her Cute Hoodie Girl. She reminds me a lot of Lady Purple Heart in that she seems to be spawned from that wonderful school of character design where any sufficiently long hoodie is indistinguishable from a minidress. Keep in mind, it's a cute hoodie, a long, green pullover designed to look like a Politoed. I've always thought Politoeds were rather uncute, but when I see a cutie all nuzzled up in her froggy threads, I admit to them having some charm, at least in clothing form. A single black dummy hair stuck out from atop the hood, yellow over the stomach, and a swirl pattern over her belly pouch completed the look, but there was something still off about her whole… look. Is she wearing shorts under there? If she is, I can't get a good look of them. What's the point of giving her mini-shorts if her hoodie-dress obstructs my view of her bottom?mMoreover, what's the point in giving her a hoodie-dress if she wears mini-shorts?

"Why are you spending so much time describing how some one-off character looks?" Asked Jakey, who was rather insensitive after getting slapped in the face by a tail fin. "And how the hell did you convince me to go fishing with you."

"One off character?" Oh, Jakey…. If only you knew. "Jakey, I think you misunderstand. Miss Cute Hoodie Girl here is going to be the female of our group." I put my arm around her, my hand meets the small of her back, and my littlest finger reaches down to test the elasticity of….

"Please don't…." Said Jakey, who should really ask permission before reading my narration.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Jakey." Hoodie Girl definitely sounded polite. She even went as far as to address him by title even though he's probably younger than her.

"It's nice to meet you, too…." He says, through gnashed teeth. "Chet, are you sure that this girl is fine with traveling with you?"

"Well, of course! We had Kurisaki-Sempai think her up just to play with us, be sure to thank him later."

"I wi…." Jakey was that close to saying, "I will," like the good little boy he is, but stopped short once he realized how much he's falling into my pace. "I hate you."

"That's the Jakey I know and love!" While Jakey and I took up the scene, I noticed little Cutie Hoodie Girl standing to the side, watching us. "I'm sorry if we're hogging center stage, Sweetie. Come on up and join us."

"No, no. You both look like you're having fun." When she said that, Jakey started to look at her with the most dumbfounded expression he could manage with his little shotaro face. "I don't want to be a bother." She's scribbling something down as she looks at us.

Apparently Cutie Hoodie Girl is the type to just sit back and enjoy the scenes around her, which I guess is good? She fits well with the dynamic me and Jakey have going on. Me, the devil-may-care, teasing, more senior member, and Jakey, the stick-in-the-mud, serious, younger trainer. The two of us are like the classic Abbot and Costello. It's good that Hoodie Girl won't over take one of us, but I worry that she won't have much space for her personality to shine. If she doesn't end up getting any limelight, then what was the point of bringing a girl into the mix at all…? Other than to give Jakey a love interest who won't rope him up in vines and decorate the ceiling with him, of course.

"Come again?" Said Jakey.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Though, this is Pokémon, so don't expect any birthdays for a while. "Just focus on fishing."

After reeling in for the nth time because something nibbled away his bait without him knowing, Jakey cast his lure into the sky and hooked the wing of a passing Beedrill.

Jakey was visibly shocked. "Umm…." Unsure of what he should do, he turned to me, which is weird. Since when does anyone ask me for my opinion? "Chet, what do I do now?"

Well, it's a Pokémon, Jakey. What do you think? "Reel him in, Sonny. He's a Pokémon, ain't he?"

Though skeptical, and maybe with good reason – this ain't the normal fisherman's mounted catch, Jakey started pulling in his line, and then was pulled from the bridge, through the water, and dragged into the nearby forest thick. He could've let go of his rod at some point, but in his defense, the Beedrill didn't really allow him much time to think. Just another day on Route 31, everybody.

…

"I'm never going fishing with you again." Jakey affirmed, though I remember him saying something along those lines earlier. "Why didn't either of you come in the forest to help me?"

Cheer up, Jakey. You got yourself a Beedrill, quit bitching.

"First of all, no one uses Beedrills!" Jakey's a bit more crossed than usual. Though, I still say he shouldn't be so harsh on his new Pokémon. "Second: Use quotation marks when you talk to me. Don't just say everything like you're narrating!"

Jakey's gotten so used to being in Gamindustri that he sometimes forgets that people in other games don't break the fourth wall as much as we do. So when he claims to hear my narration other people will wonder what he's on about. Also, they'll worry for his mental wellbeing.

Hoodie Girl tugged at my sleeve. On her face was a concerned countenance unbefitting a cutie like her. "Chet, what does he mean by 'quotation marks?'" Like any normal person, she can't hear my narration.

Still off on one, Jakey looks ready to jump kick me in the face. "You're kidding…."

"Don't worry, Love. Jakey gets like this every now and then." I tried to assure her, while also trying to agitate Jakey,

"Chet…." His voice grumbled like the warning tremors of a volcano as he uttered my name. "Explain it to her. The right way."

How the hell do you expect me to explain this? Should I just tell her you're psychic?

"Chet, he's scaring me…." She clung closer to me, but I felt that it was more out of her worry for Jakey than any affection for me…. Damn.

Sighing, I reached to my Pokéballs, and summoned my companion. "Jazz, take the stage!" I really won't end up with the girl this time…. Actually, when have I ever ended up with the girl?

On her six little spidery legs, Jazz, my new Spinarak, took the stage. Now, I know she won't qualify for much of anything once she evolves and grows out of the little cup qualifications, but that doesn't really matter. I'm not protagonist here, after all. Of what importance is anything I do.

"Umm…, Chet, are you alright…?" That was actually Jakey asking me that. He must be worried that I'll make Jazz attack him. Though, I'd never do that…

"I'm important, too, damn it!" Then again, I've been wrong about myself before….

Things happened after that, and some of those things weren't all that great…. And then we made a protective tent out of string shot from Jazz and Simon's string shot.

"Simon? You mean my Beedrill? You can't just name my Pokémon for me. That's not how it works." I'm ignoring him because we're at chapter end. "Hey!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Everyone, din dins!" I called, banging together ladle and pot. "You too, Jakey! Soup's on."

"I hope you get crushed by a rock!" as per usual, Jakey isn't as enthusiastic over meal time as the rest of us, or even his own Pokémon. Granted, his current crankiness might have had something to do with him somehow getting trapped in a cave with no way out. "I know you had a hand in that, I just can't prove it yet!"

Tee hee. Picking on Jakey is so much fun when he gets all cute and pouty.

"What did you make for dinner today, Mr. Chet." Cute Hoodie Girl, whose name I should really try and learn, has been stuck on calling me "Mr." for some reason, and it's really getting to me.

"Well, I'm stewing up the last of those potatoes we got from that nice old couple we met back passed Union Cave." They were very generous considering that was enough to kept us fed for a while. "I know we've been eating pretty much the same thing as of late, but please put up with this tedium. I'll be able to pick up more ingredients once we're in Azalea Town."

Hoodie Girl smiles at me. I can tell she's not very interested, but she's charming me with her attempt at courtesy. I wasn't able to enjoy that smile for long, however; tugging at her sleeve was a little leaf headed saurian. Hoodie Girl's Chikorita must be ready to eat. That's actually quite flattering.

"Don't worry, Little One. There's plenty for you as well." At least I hope there is. It's actually rather difficult feeding this many mouths. "Alright, everyone line up. Little ones first, and then we human types get our shot."

Our Pokémon all lined up for their food. There was no real order to it. Jakey's Pokémon seem to fancy themselves the alpha males of the pack with Simon the Beedrill and Tooth the Croconaw leering at each other as they take first and second place in line respectively. I'm not even sure if Beedrill can learn Leer, but he makes it work. Hoodie Girl's Chikorita, Larvitar, Ekans, and Poliwag line up behind them, then followed by my Jazz, Nigel the Jigglypuff, and then my Gospel bringing up the rear. Apollo is actually taking the role of fire seeing as how, well, he's got fire coming up from behind his neck.

My Magikarp, Reggae doesn't seem to care much about waiting inline, though I guess that would be difficult since he's just a carp. Magikarp aren't known for being very big eaters, so it's fine.

"You shouldn't name other people Pokémon. And where do you even come up with the names Tooth, Simon, and Nigel?" Jakey keeps telling me that like it'll get me to stop.

"Just hurry up and get your bowl ready, Jakey. It's almost time to eat." We're using some plastic bowls right now. Not the cutest set, all a dull and gloomy red, but they're durable. I have to make note to buy some cuter ones once we reach Goldenrod.

"I didn't know you handed them out…." Jakey started to look around for his bowl, but he didn't seem to find it anywhere.

"Jakey, do you need any help?" I asked, with no intention of helping him.

"My bowl's gone, too." Said Hoodie Girl, sparking up my kind, caring, and selfless nature.

"Don't look so dutiful when some thing happens to her and not me." Jakey protested, jealously. "And I'm not jealous!"

"Jakey, stop talking to yourself for just a minute." Something's amiss. I can't put my finger on it just yet. With all the ruckus, I think I'm paranoid.

"Ruckus? All I said was my bowl isn't where it should be."

"Mr. Chet, Jakey's talking to himself again, and it's making me feel anxious." Hoodie Girl was starting to worry, again, more about Jakey than anything else.

"I'm not talking to myself!" Agitated, misunderstood, and maybe a little hungry, Jakey started to raise his voice. So hot under the collar was he that he could not see the tiny orange blur diving at him like furry lightning. "Ah!" And Jakey was struck claws of steel.

"Man down!" I yell, trying not to laugh at his misfortune.

Standing atop Jakey's ground-planted head was a little orange bear creature with a crescent shape on it's forehead. Probably because I was currently the loudest here, little bear was growling at me with a surprisingly fierce expression on him, his species considered.

"Is that a Teddiursa?" asked Hoodie Girl, half-horrified by the attack on Jakey and half-squeeing from the sheer cuteness of the little bear Pokémon that had attacked him. "His fur looks so soft!"

"I don't like the look he's giving me, tho." I stated.

"Neither do I!" Said Jakey, looking up from the dirt. "And I can't even see him from here!" And then Jakey ducked to avoid the incoming Water Gun, courtesy of his own Pokémon. "Croconaw, the hell did you do that for?"

"His name is Tooth." I tried to tell him.

"No it isn't!" Jakey affirmed, growing more irritated as his hunger worsened.

Regardless of whatever Jakey might have thought, Tooth wasn't even aiming for him when he fired that Water Gun. The Teddiursa that had attacked and mounted himself atop Jakey was the target.

"Kumaaaa!" The little bear cried as he was forced back by Tooth's Water Gun.

"Kuma?" That's not the sound a Teddiursa should make.

Though a little dirty from his fall, Jakey got to his feet and was ready to confront his new opponent. What's more, I think he's got grass stains on his jacket. Those are always a pain to wash.

"Jakey!" I called out to him. "I'm thinking that this is the one who took your and Hoodie Girl's bowls."

"How do you figure that, Mr. Chet." Asked Hoodie Girl.

"Teddiursa have an ability called pick up, which taps into their forager instincts. Sometimes, a Pokémon with the pick up ability will occasionally pick up items out of habit. Trained Pokémon are a usually a little better behaved, but wild Pokémon like this guy will take stuff the moment you take your eyes off of it." I show off the knowledge I gained from my last bulbapedia session to Hoodie Girl, but there's still something amiss here. "I've never seen a Teddiursa just jump and attack like that before. They usually use their charm to con passersby into giving them food."

"Well, this glorified baby toy just tried to crack open my skull! I'm taking him out, and I'm going to make him tell us where my bowl is!" Jakey probably wouldn't be so upset about this if I had another bowl for him to use, but I don't. I really should get to a department store soon and buy us some spares.

"Isn't he making a bid deal out of this?" Asked Hoodie Girl.

"Things haven't really been going his way lately. Getting dragged through the dirt by a Beedrill, ending up the butt of every joke, being miles away from his home." Being around me for so long…. "It was just a matter of time before he snapped at something."

Hoodie Girl didn't seem to like the sound of that. "At least it's not me, I guess…." Jakey, I'll kill your reputation with this girl yet! Ha ha!

"Alright! Croconaw use Water Gun!" Jakey commanded, positively glowing with the energy of scorn.

Unfortunately for him, Tooth wasn't sure who he was talking to. "Gnaw…?" And that pause gave time for an Metal Claw to the face. "GNAW?!"

"What are you doing? Don't just stand there!" Jakey continued to yell.

"You need to call him by his name!" I told him.

"I am!" No you're not, Jakey. His name is Tooth. You keep calling him by his species name, and it's rather unaffectionate.

"Kuma! Kuma! Kuma!" That little Teddiursa keeps piling on with Metal Claw, and poor Tooth is getting his scaly behind handed to him.

"Actually, Teddiursa shouldn't be able to learn Metal Claw. It isn't in their natural move pool." I say, as I watch the painful slog that this battle is turning out to be.

"What do you mean, Mr. Chet?" I really wish Hoodie Girl would stop calling me that, but I guess it's fitting as I seem to have taken on the teacher role, somehow.

"A Pokémon's move pool is dependent on it's species. For example, the first attack any Totodile learns is scratch, but the first move a Cyndaquil learns is tackle. The moves they learn are different, and even if they can learn some of the same moves, they may not learn them at the same level." Some moves can be learned levels lower than normal with technical training, but that's another story. "However, Pokémon can only ever learn moves within their move pools. An attack like Metal Claw from a Teddiursa can only mean that it was bred in."

"Bread? You mean like what it eats." That was cute, Hoodie Girl, but no.

I chuckle at that. "No, actually. You see, by breeding Pokémon of different species, their child will take up its species from the mother. And though the child's movepool will be different from its father's it might be able to perform some moves from its father that it wouldn't normally know." That's actually much of the appeal of Pokémon Breeding. "Strange as it sounds, wild Pokémon don't much mate outside of their own species, even if they did I'm not sure that a wild Pokémon would even know that they had that a bred in move to use." And then it all came together to smack me in the face like a bear coming at me from behind.

"Arrgh!" To interrupt my moment of ultimate comprehension, Jakey anguished over poor Tooth's fainting. "Alright! Beedrill, you're next!"

"His name is, Simon." I tried to tell him.

"Shut up!" He yelled.

Jakey's increasing frustrations to be set aside for later, I finally understood what had been bothering me so much about this Teddiursa: Choosing to go against it's nature and attack, rather than charm; Holding its own against a competent trainer like Jakey; Using Metal Claw when it's outside of its move pool – That little bear can't be a wild Pokémon!

I had to tell him. "Jakey! That Teddiursa has a trainer!"

Sadly, my statement came at the same time Simon fell to the Teddiursa's nth Metal Claw. Really, Jakey should learn the names of his own Pokémon.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh, thank you so much for finding him!" Tekken-sensei shouted, snuggling the little bear Pokémon into her desirable bust. Her long black hair swayed in tandem with the blue skirt of her school uniform, and now I'm jealous of a little bear….

"It was no problem…." Said Jakey, trying to be nice. However, the bandages we had to wrap around his noggin sort of explained the trouble we went through. "It would have been even less of a problem if I had gotten a little help from somebody…."

When we last left Jakey and our band of misfit adventurers, we were on our way to Azalea Town to earn Jakey's second gym badge, and my third. We came across a little snag on our way through Route 33, we came across Kuma-sensei, the lost pet Teddiursa of a shapely battle girl called Tekken. It was actually a bit of trouble finding out who Kuma-sensei belong to, but our task became much easier once we asked around the Pokémon Center here in a little town called Irisville.

"I'm so sorry for all of this…." Tekken-sensei whimpered. "This is all because I can't keep track of my Pokémon…."

"That's quite alright, Tekken-sensei." I attempted to ease her worries, but I don't know how effective I could be. "You're being too hard on yourself. Things like this happen every now and again."

Now I knew just how ineffective I could be. Tekken-sensei was unmoved by my attempt at reassurance, so either she's prone to wallowing, or I just suck at making people smile. I thought that I could have Hoodie Girl talk to her. Girl on girl would probably be better than me trying figure out how she thinks. Unfortunately, Hoodie Girl was already scribbling away at one of her notepads with that same fixed, determined gaze she wears whenever something bad happens to Jakey. Though she is quite the cheerful girl, Hoodie Girl finds her muse among the misfortune and despair of others. Since we met her a few days ago, she has drawn up inspiration for over thirty wonderful pieces from Jakey's bad luck alone.

I find that cute for some reason, but there's still the issue of Tekken-sensei, who is infinitely cuter when she smiles.

From overhead, the intercom in the Pokémon Center's lobby pinged. Immediately after the ping, I could hear the matronly voice of the nurse saying: "Attention: All trainers looking to challenge the Irisville Pokémon Dungeon, the Dungeon Mistress will be accepting all challengers for three on three battle single battles."

That sounds questionable, but I can dig it! "Tekken-sensei, what's the Irisville Battle Dungeon?"

Looking up at me with a slightly less pitiable face. "Huh? Oh!" Don't be so surprised, woman. I thought it was a relatively simple question. "Well, umm…. Well, not too long ago, the Elders applied for a Pokémon Gym to be constructed her in town because they wanted to increase money the money we all made from tourism, but that didn't happen because the Pokémon League Commission decided that our village wasn't big or important enough to have it's own gym, but the Dungeon Mistress is still a very strong trainer, so the elders decided to make the Pokémon Dungeon instead."

"So until Irisville becomes popular enough to have its own gym, the Pokémon Dungeon is the main attraction?" Asked Jakey, not even bothering to hide his skepticism. "Well that's dumb, what's the point in a fake gym with no badgeeeeehmph!" Jakey found it much harder to speak with my arm around his neck.

I'm trying to get her to lighten up, Jakey. Get with the program! "Well, Tekken-sensei, if you really want to pay us back, how about you take us to this Pokémon Dungeon. Then we'll call it even, 'kay?"

Prying my arms loose enough for himself to breathe, Jakey said, "Chet, no. I don't like the name they gave it. It sounds dangerous in the worst ways." And then I tightened my headlock on him.

"It sounds like great fun! Jakey just can't wait to see it!" Quit struggling, Jakey. How bad can it be?

…

Oh goodness it's dark here. "Jakey? Hoodie Girl? Tekken-sensei?" I have got to learn Hoodie Girl's name one of these days. "I can't see a thing in here!"

I'm not sure how we ended up in this darkness. We were going to the Pokémon Dungeon, and then black. Lots and lots of black. It's darker than pitch in here, and I'm not sure where my compatriots are in this confusion.

"Where do you think you're touching?" Unfortunately that was the voice of the Shotaro Jakey, and not the voice of either Hoodie Girl or Tekken-sensei. "Chet if that's you, I'm going to…"

"Shut up and look for a light." As if on my word, the darkness became dimly illuminated by a series of flickering candle lights. At first it was just the ones nearest to us, but as more flickering fires came alive, I could see that there were thousands of red candlesticks lining the walls, giving an eerie light to the room, and making it rather hot with all the fire. The walls and floor looked dark orange, wether from the light or by their nature, I don't know. I didn't see an entrance or an exit anywhere, which is distressing on its own, but what I did notice was that Hoodie Girl and Tekken-sensei were still here, one battle field away, in cast iron cages on either side of a single velvet throne. On that throne sat a rather terrifying character of a girl.

She was clad in a scarlet SS uniform, complete with matching high-peaked cap, black rubber boots and gloves, and a riding crop in one hand. Her long lavender hair was curled into a huge braid that fell down her back, and her red eyes shone like diamonds stained with blood. Though she did not bare her teeth, her smile was that of a carnivore and a predator. Her tush sat on the very edge of her throne, and with her legs crossed she rested her feet upon the back of a toady girl, whose own face was that of an unnerving pleasure of which I am unfamiliar.

"Good evening, you worthless boys." Said the fearsome girl, chilling me to the bone with every syllable she pronounced. "I see you've made it into my dungeon. I thank you for your gift of these new dolls for me, but I suppose you want them back, don't you?"

"Chet…!" If Jakey had never experienced fear before in his life, he fears now. Eyes strained, mouth agape, and his every limb quivering, he is afraid. He's very afraid. "Is that…?"

"Yeah…." I could hardly believe it myself, though I suppose no could fit the role better.

"I suppose I'll let my new play things go, if you win against me in battle I might even let you go with them, doesn't that sound fair?" Her eyes are set on Jakey, and for once I don't mind that a girl chose him over me. "But if you lose, I'll need a replacement. A little boy like you would look so lovely as my personal toy." She's giggling now, and Jakey would have ran if he knew of an exit, or if his legs would allow. "I am the Mistress of this Dungeon, but you will refer to me as Madam Plutia."

I am frozen. I am frozen more thoroughly than any blizzard could manage. I am frozen, but I must stand strong. Jakey's here after all. I can't just let him weather this storm by himself. "Jakey accepts your challenge! And if he wins I reserve the right to grope your chest!" I mean, that is flat justice. I love it!

I'm sorry, my focus just shifted towards something happier, didn't it?

"You're doing it again!" Jakey complained, shrugging off his fear of Madame Plutia in favor of his hatred for me. "I'll kill you!"

I'm not sure what I just did, but I'm sure you'll do fine Jakey. You'll make a great doll. Playing dress up might be kinda fun.


	5. Chapter 5

"The battle between Dungeon Mistress Plutia, and the challenger, Jacob Winters from New Bark Town will commence shortly. Both sides are allotted three Pokémon, but the battle will be in single battle format. Substitutions are allowed, but only for the challenger." The Irisville Pokémon Dungeon's referee, clothed in an impractically long – yet very pleasing to the eye – red dress. In both hands, she held a small flag: a red flag in her right, towards Madam Plutia; green in her left, towards Jakey. "Let the contest begin!"

"Chet, you bastard, once this is over I'm going to shove my foot…" Let's skip a few words here. "that you'll be tasting the dirt on the bottom of my shoe from now until you die!" Jakey's in peak condition, that condition being blinding rage.

"Just worry about the battle. You'll be fine." I'm lying, of course. He's going to get massacred.

His rage overtaking his deathly fear, Jakey stands opposite the menacing Madam Plutia, Mistress of this Pokémon Dungeon, and a frightful woman if ever I've seen. Between them was an expanse of polished orange floor that had been broken up into a battlefield by thin white floor tiles. Because this was an indoor battle, and with a notably low ceiling at that, this battle was unlikely to become an air duel. Just as well, seeing as how Jakey has yet to own a flying-type. However, I'm worried over more than the ceiling in this fight, the floor is awfully slick for a battlefield, and I worry how Tooth, Jakey's Croconaw and current heavy hitter, would adapt to that. Simon the Beedrill, and Nigel the Jigglypuff have limited off ground potential as a bee and balloon respectively. Not so with Tooth, a water Pokémon completely beached in this fight.

"Are you ready, Little Boy?" Asked Madam Plutia, with a worryingly predatory look about her. "Pardon me if I play rough with you."

Though the dim light afforded by the candles in the room did well to hide it, Jakey was blushing somewhat at Madam Plutia's suggestiveness towards him. "Le's just battle…." He said, trying to maintain his cool. You're ten, Jakey, so don't try too hard now.

"Jakey!" I called to him, which I find I've been doing a lot more lately. "Don't send out Tooth first! He's at a disadvantage on this type of terrain."

"Just shut up, and leave me alone! I know what I'm doing…." Jakey spurned me, and my advice. Maybe I should tease him less. "Go, Nigel!" Throwing out his Pokéball, which opened to unleash a shimmering white light, which it self disapated to reveal the form of the the little ball of pink fluff and hot air, Nigel, Jakey's Jigglypuff. The tiny pink creature planted his little feet onto the battlefield.

Oh? It looks like Jakey might have taken my advice after all, sending out his Jigglypuff, rather than Tooth.

"Don't get a head of yourself. I wasn't going to use Tooth first, anyway…." Oh, Jakey's being tsundere!

Don't worry, Jakey. I know you love me deep down inside, and to show that I reciprocate that love, I will tease you like a prepubescent boy teases the girl he likes. "Speaking of Tooth, what possessed you to give your starter such a silly name, Jakey?"

"I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A TRUCK!" I can just feel the searing hot emotion packed into his every word. Oh! I love you too, Jakey!

"Oh? A Jigglypuff? That's a rather cute Pokémon for a boy to have." Madam Plutia teased him, though that's my shtick. "Or are you even a boy at all? The tomboy type is growing in popularity in recent times."

"I am a man!" He says, in his squeaky ten-year-old voice.

"Oh really? Then how about you show me just how much of a man you are?" Madam Plutia…. Madam Plutia is a dangerous woman. Of that much I'm certain. "Alright, now! Come out, my precious!"

And then Jakey lost. I won't go into detail, but he lost…. Horribly. It was TPKO before Madam Plutia even sent out her second Pokémon. Luckily, we didn't really come here to win anything, so I didn't have to challenge Madam Plutia myself. Jakey did that, and look what that got him.

Since Jakey lost his battle, we couldn't take Hoodie Girl and Tekken-sensei back with us, so Jakey bravely allowed himself to become Madam Plutia's toy in their stead…. Actually, no. I just grabbed the girls when no one was looking and took off without telling him. I honestly meant to, but it must've slipped my mind. Oh, well. I'm sure that it'll be a valuable learning experience for him, whatever happens.

…

The Next Day…

…

Tekken-sensei was kind enough to lend Hoodie Girl and I her living room to sleep in. Sharing the night with two super cute chickies may sound like the dream I've been viving for my entire life…, but it was not nearly as sexy as I would have hoped for. Anyway, we met up with one exhausted looking Jakey at the Pokémon Center, later that day. If I didn't know better, it looked like Jakey wanted to kill me. Of course he wouldn't because he values our great friend ship, and he doesn't look like he'd have then energy to do it anyway.

"You suck…." Wow, Jakey. That was downright tame considering I left you to your own devices against the Grand Mistress of All Predators. "Do you have any idea what I've been put through in the past 72 hours?"

"Seventy-two hours? Jakey, I just left you there for one night. Seventy-two hours is…." Let me think for a moment…. "That's three days!"

With the bags under his eyes only accentuating his the murder in his eyes, Jakey grabbed me by the lapels, and brought me down to his height. "You have no idea what that woman can do…. She didn't lay a finger on me. What she did was she threw me in a cage. All through the night, she berated me. All through the night, she let me know how pitiful I was; how pitiful a trainer I was. She told me that my Pokémon deserved better than me. She told me all of that, and she smiled the entire time, and YOU!" He slammed his forehead against mine. My eyes blurred for a moment, and I could almost feel my skull crack. "You were the one that left me there, Chet! Why? Huh?"

As Jakey held me to his eyes, myself still captive at my lapels, I saw something in Jakey's gaze that worried me. "Jakey…, did Madam Plutia push you into the realm of adulthood before your time?"

And then Jakey punched me in the stomach. "I JUST SAID THAT SHE DIDN'T LAY A FINGER ON ME, YOU SONNOVABITCH!"

And then he let go of me, so that I could clutch my stomach. I could still smile though. Let's face it, at ten years, kids don't usually hit very hard. Jakey is no exception.

"That relieved so much of my troubles!" Said Jakey, with the most satisfied grimace I've ever seen him crack on his face. "I should respond to you with violence more often, Chet." Whatever makes you happy, Jakey. Whatever makes you happy….

"Umm…." Tekken-sensei began to interject. "So you…. You spent the whole night with Lady Plutia…?"

"Hmm?" Jakey was on a bit of a high after hitting me, so I wouldn't be surprised if he were to say that he didn't notice that Tekken-sensei was even there until now. "Yeah…. It felt a hell of a lot longer than that…, but yeah."

"Oh…." Tekken-sensei started to look glum again.

"What's the matter, Tekken-sensei?" I asked, having already ignored the very minor pain from Jakey's slug. "You shouldn't be so sad when you've such a cute face."

"No, I'm not sad…." Tekken-sensei, you're a horrible liar. "I was just thinking about Jake's battle with Lady Plutia."

"To even call that a battle is generous, Tekken-sensei." And then Jakey Punched me in the side.

"Lady Plutia seemed so strong and commanding when she was calling out orders, and all I could do was sit in a cage." She says, with a dreamy expression about her. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I just…. I feel as if I admire her just a bit more now."

That's actually quite strange from where I stand, but I won't judge you solely for that. Lady White Heart only knows all the ill things that set up my Blaze ability.

"So you want the Madam to crack the whip on you!" I said, perhaps louder than I should have in this Pokémon Center.

"Just challenge her. If you loose, the worst thing that could happen is probably what you're into anyways." Jakey added that, surprisingly enough. However, it was obvious that he just meant to be snide about it; still bitter about his time alone with the Madam.

It's actually quite strange. Jakey just punched me in the gut earlier, and now we're on the same page. I don't mind, tho; I actually welcome it. "That actually sounds pretty good, why don't you just let the Madam pound your aft end?"

My last line caught Tekken-sensei unaware. Now she's blushing. I want to ask what it was I said that made all the blood flow to her cheeks, but at the same time I don't really want to.

"No!" She wouldn't even consider it. "I can't do that! I'm not ready for that yet! I mean…. M-My heart's not ready…." We've really been abusing the ellipses ever since you came along, Tekken-sensei. "If I come in there as I am now, Lady Plutia will only think less of me."

Jakey seemed perplexed by Tekken-sensei's statement. "Isn't that what you want? If you lose easy, she'll still talk down to you."

"Jakey, to talk down to someone and to think little of someone are not always mutually inclusive." I informed him. "Well, if it's you're abilities as a trainer that you're so worried about, fret not! Jakey's here, so just do the opposite of what he does, and you'll become a champion class trainer in no time!"

And then Jakey punched me again.

For those curious about what happened to Hoodie Girl while we were all talking, she was busy putting pencil to paper the sleeping form of a newly hatched Dratini that the Center Nurse had been watching over. She was absolutely ecstatic about it.


	6. Chapter 6

With Tekken-sensei's training taking precedence over whatever the hell we were doing before hand, I decided it was best to be as far removed from the town of Irisville as possible while still being in close enough distance from Tekken-sensei's home. You see, finding a decent clearing may well be important, but I'd very much not have to wall all that far to rest after training.

As the goddesses would have it, there was a nice, stoney, riverside clearing not all that far a way's away. Though bumpy at parts, the stone floor offered excellent grip, and the river flowed at a steady pace, reasonable for light to moderate exercises. The trees wouldn't grow too deep into the stone, so we were afforded excellent sight of the sky. This is the prefect training grounds for a beginner like Tekken-sensei.

"Not bad at all!" I announced, taking in a deep breath of the clean local air. "It's just the type of place for your level, Tekken-sensei."

"Yes. I'll do my very best!" She affirms, holding her arms close to her chest. "Should I send my Pokémon out, now?" I nodded to her, and with a smile she threw up her three Pokéballs and brought to the scene her cute trio of fighters. "Jin, Law, Kuma, come on out!" She gleefully shouted.

Tekken-sensei's party of three were now up and displaying themselves to us. I was already familiar with Kuma, Tekken-sensei's cute little bear with deadly little claws. Beside Kuma were the Elekid, Jin, whose very presence just crackled with its typing, and Law, the Tyrogue, whose species are typically well balanced by nature. Though they all looked quite fun to have battle, I worried over how effective they would be on the field.

Since Jakey so pitifully lost to Madam Plutia in his last bout, I thought it idea for him to face Tekken-sensei now. To my surprise, they seemed evenly matched, though Jakey had much more confidence in himself.

"And will you just shut up about that fight? Geez!" Jakey would rather forget about his absolute, total, and humiliating loss to Madam Plutia, so as not to pour salt into his wounds any further, I will no longer speak of his quick, pathetic defeat at the hands of Madam Plutia. "Go fall in a pit and starve!"

"Law, use…! Umm…." Though she was a fine enough trainer, a little more confidence would help her more than anything else at this point. "Uh…. Oh no! Look out!"

I sighed as I watched the slow progression before me. It's not that I'm disappointed, but I'm not really impressed either.

"What's the matter, Mr. Chet?" Hoodie Girl spoke up, somehow noticing how underwhelmed I was. "Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh, there's nothing particularly wrong. I just realized how difficult things might be going forward." I could see that my answer failed to answer anything for Hoodie Girl, so I should probably extrapolate. "You see, statistically speaking, Tyrouges aren't known for much their own strength, speed, or endurance, but they are known for evolving into the Pokémon: Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, and Hitmontop. Until it evolves, however, Tyrogue…. Tyrogue isn't present among the higher tiers, I'll put it that way."

"I've heard about that. It evolves randomly among the three, so it'll be difficult to determine how to train it until it evolves, right?" Hoodie Girl looks to me, unsure of the factuality of what she just said, and with good reason. That information is false.

"Actually, the evolution of Tyrogue is much more calculated than that." I began to delve deeper. "What any Tyrogue will evolve into depends entirely on their training. If it were trained with emphasis on offense, then it will evolve into the stone shattering Hitmonlee. If the focus was on defense, then it will evolve into Hitmonchan. Hitmontop become the product of evolution if those stats are equal when it evolves."

"So Tyrogue evolves because of its stats? I never knew that."

"And we all know how popular the Hitmons are among fighting enthusiasts. They're powerful fighting type Pokémon with decent move pools." It helps that they have the words chan and lee in their names. "Actually, do you remember what I said before about Pokémon breeding?"

"You were talking about how moves can be passed down from different species through breeding." Very good, Hoodie Girl. It's nice to know someone pays attention to what I say. "What else is there to it, Mr. Chet?"

Surprisingly enough, I'm finding I quite like being the mentor to Hoodie Girl, dispatching infrequent tidbits that may or may not aide in our greater quest, whatever the hell our quest is. I know I oft claim to be a mentor to Jakey, but I think it should be more than a little obvious by now that I just like to mess with the kid. Maybe mentor is the wrong word. I suppose the term "senpai" is the term most applicable, this being a Japanese franchise and whatnot. Maybe I should be called Chet-senpai, rather than Mr. Chet…. Nope! That just don't work for me!

Anyways, I talk more on bred moves. Tyrogue's Mach Punch and Bullet Punch being the two I focused on. I impressed Hoodie Girl by informing her that Law's father could only be a Hitmonchan, and not Hitmonlee or Hitmontop. I even started on explaining the basics of Egg Groups to her, but I could only scratch the surface before Tekken-sensei and Jakey had exhausted themselves and their Pokémon in their practice battle. Perhaps that was for the best. I'm not equipped well enough to even attempt to explain tiny kittens like the Skitty could be paired up to breed with a sea colossus as massive as the Wailord. I've been studying Pokémon since before I could walk, and I can't even fathom how something like that is possible in this sane world, where house cats can burp out building destroying lasers with as much effort as it takes to yawn.

…

"May the best future follow this meal!" That seems like a neutral enough thing for me to say. "Let's dig in, everyone."

A long day of training should be followed with a short meal to ease the pains of wear. I still can't say that Tekken-sensei or even Jakey can hold their own against Madam Plutia, they'd probably do a lot better than Jakey's first attempt.

"Shut up, Chet." said Jakey, who was now too tired to attempt to maim me with his utensils.

We were having dinner at Tekken-sensei's house. I cooked, of course. I could finally make something other than potato soup for the first time in far too long. I made carrot soup. That might not sound any different, but I was able to give the soup's broth a nice thickness and brown color. I just hope that Tekken-sensei's absentee parents don't mind me invading their spice rack. I won't ask why, or what happened to Tekken-sensei's parents that they'd leave such a cute and impressionable girl like her unattended to for more than a day because I quite like the lack of parental supervision. It makes me feel like this is Pokémon canon.

"Thank you for all of your help…." Tekken-sensei shyly murmured, quiet to where I just barely picked up on it. "You've all been so kind to me, but I caused you so much trouble…."

"You didn't cause us any trouble." Jakey assured her, being uncharacteristically kind in forgetting his unfortunate fate at the hands of Madam Plutia. "Me being tortured was Chet's fault anyway."

Jakey's kind words, or rather, kind words to Tekken-sensei and not me, put a small smile on her face, tho she wouldn't let it stand out. "But…."

"No buts, Tekken-sensei." Unless you're willing to give us a peak at yours. "You let us stay in your house for this and the past night. You even showed us to the Pokémon Dungeon, where many laughs were born of Jakey's misfortune."

"It was like every other day, Tekken." Hoodie Girl joined our train of happy words. "It was really fun being here in Irisville. There was the Dratini at the Pokémon Center, you and Jakey made the best reactions, and I even got to meet you, Tekken."

"Wow…. You all are so nice to me, but you'll have to leave for your next gym, won't you?" Tekken-sensei, sighed. "I know Kuma would like to go traveling. When I first got Kuma, I was about to go out on my own adventure, but then Lady Plutia came, and…." She flushed red. "And then I became interested…."

"Kuma!" There's Kuma-sensei, standing up proudly beside us at then dinner table. His height placed him equal in level to Hoodie Girl sitting bum.

"If it's not too much to ask, I'd like it if you all could take Kuma with you on your journey. He'd be much happier playing with everyone than being stuck at home with me." Kuma-sensei was still standing beside us, but for her own cute, symbolic gesture, Tekken-sensei handed his Pokéball to Jakey. "Please take care of my Kuma. Please, Jakey?"

'Please, Jakey?' Ugh! Please spare my dinner.

"Are you sure?" Jakey asked, a bit of lettuce between his front teeth, and his eyes wide in disbelief. "What about challenging Plutia? You need three Pokémon for that, right?"

"It's okay…. I can't beat Lady Plutia as I am now. So until I'm strong enough…." Her blush worsened, but the apple red of her cheeks was made up for with the incredible smile on her face, and that lovely twinkle in her eye. "Until then, I'll work hard to be Lady Plutia's pet!"

And then Jakey almost threw up his dinner, lunch, and whatever else was left in his digestive tract. He was absolutely pale.

…

We left Irisville for Azalea Town the following morning. Paying Tekken-sensei our goodbyes, Jakey led us away from there at full speed, but not without our newest ally, Kuma-sensei riding along Jakey's back as he sped away.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello, Goldenrod! Shining bright at all hours! Forever in motion! Forever awake! Such is the nature of the big city lifestyle!

"And the best part is, we've split up! So I don't have to be stuck with you the entire time!" Jakey proudly announced, ever so chipper now that Hoodie Girl and I had gone off to the department store for the essentials like our food and drink.

Actually, Jakey, there's a two for one sale on travel bowls. Easy to clean, durable, and in a variety of pastel colors. You should have come so that we could carry more.

"And miss this opportunity to be away from you? Hell no!" Jakey spits venom at me, though we communicate only through narration. What he often forgets is that no one else can here my end of the conversation, and passersby look to him like a loon. "Yeah, yeah…. How are you even talking to me when you're supposed to be shopping anyway?"

Dearest Jakey, I am more than capable of multitasking. Narrating comes only second nature to me, after all.

Though he would not admit it, Jakey was secretly impressed by my level of skill. "Don't flatter yourself." Likewise, Jakey even impresses me with his mastery of the long distance tsundere technique. "It's not tsundere if I only hate you." Though, he could benefit from working a little more on the dere dere side of his technique….

Without purpose of his own, and without my hand to guide him, Jakey wandered through the crowded streets of Goldenrod. A small child in a large, uncaring city, he wanders around, pitifully waiting for a familiar face to discover him among the grand scenery….

"I'm sitting on a bench. I don't think I'm even ten feet away from the department store. I'm just across the flipping street!" Jakey was slowly loosing himself to his loneliness. "I'm not lonely! I'm just waiting for you two to get your shopping done!"

As it turns out, I need not be anywhere near Jakey in order to continue with our usual antics. I still tease him, he still acts all tsun tsun, it's a jolly lot of fun for all involved.

"It ain't fun for me!" Jakey affirmed.

"Sparky? Is that you?" We heard the voice of a certain little lady intruding upon our conversation. A certain little lady that both Jakey and I are familiar with, though Jakey knows her a little better. "Well, I'll be a Bob's fanny! It IS Sparky!"

"Oh…, goodness no…." Jakey seemed anxious to hear her voice. The thought of their reunion visibly excited him. He was positively shaking from anticipation. "No, no…. No, Chet, no. No!"

Waving at Jakey from down the pink bricked sidewalk, topped with lavender hair and forelocks to frame her round face and saucer plate shaped purple eyes, she bounced up and down in wait for him to acknowledge her. Her purple minidress bobbed up and down, teasing the possibility of a panty shot that was just too far away for us to see…. Which I find a little cruel…. She wore a white hooded wind breaker over her top half with plug shaped adjuster straps hanging from the hood, and a single button bearing her single initial "N" proudly over her modest bosom. It is for the retention of that modest bosom over this crossover that I am more thankful for than anything else.

"Neptune…." Just by saying her name, Jakey was met with near paralytic palpitations of the heart. "Chet, why…?"

Why you ask? Jakey, it's because a sharp young boy like yourself shouldn't be left to play all by his lonesome.

"Wait there! I'll come to you!" She ran to him, carried on her legs clad to her thighs in stripe patterned stockings. "Gimme a hug!" Rather than waiting to receive a hug that might never come, Lady Neptune jumped for him, face first and arms outstretched.

"Crap!" He tried to run, but Jakey's reaction time could use some touching up. "Oof!"

*Bonk!* Went the sound of his skull against hers.

…

"I sooooo can't believe I found you today! It's almost like this was all planned out from the beginning." Said Lady Neptune, cuddling Jakey so tightly that his future children will be mindful of their personal space.

"Neptune…. I can't…." Jakey couldn't breathe, but I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a main character after all.

"What's that? Wait, don't tell me. I already know." Holding onto him even tighter now, Neptune loving rested her head atop his. In a gentle voice, she asked of him, "Your heart's come down with the doki dokis for me, hasn't it? Oh, you big prude! How totally cute!"

"Fat chance!" He managed to yell, expelling the last of the trapped air in his lungs and subsequently passing out because of that.

One black out and an enviable resuscitation session later, Jakey was back on a bench with Neptune on his arm. How lucky you must be, Jakey to have such a lavender topped cutie paying you so much attention.

"Shut up, Chet!" He barked, embarrassed around cute girls like the young boy he is. "I'm not embarrassed, and definitely not around Neptune!"

"Chet's here? Where is he? I want to say hi." Hello, Lady Neptune.

"He says, 'Hello.'" Jakey kindly relayed my words, for which I am grateful.

"Wait…. Is he invisible?"

"No he's not invisible." To be fair, Jakey, she's not entirely wrong with that statement. "He's just narrating inside my head…, and he's being a real ass about it."

"Oooh! Me and Histy used to do that, too! She'd come up at the beginning of the game to point me in the right direction, it was really sweet. We were like besties in the brain, but she hasn't really done that since the end of the first game…. I wonder if she still does it, but doesn't say anything. Hmm…."

What Lady Neptune said fed the thought process – fed it with a rather sweet treat, at that – but Jakey did not care much to have his thoughts provoked. A boy for the here and now, he was more concerned over what led to where he sat now, that is, sitting on a bench with Lady Neptune around his arm. If it were me, I wouldn't question it, and just enjoy the feeling of Lady Neptune's small, supple breasts pressing against my arm.

"Neptune, why are you even here?" He asked, tactlessly.

"I came here to make a cameo appearance of course! Why else?" Lady Neptune asks a fine question, and with her appearance, there should be an appropriate introduction. Standing up from the bench, and striking a pose worthy of her status, I surrender the scene to her, "Here I am, Gamindustri's Purple Blur! I am the forward stepping Progress of Johto's Elite Four! The most elite of the Elite Four! The Elitist of the Elite Four, I am Neptune!"

…

"Wot?"


End file.
